“To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16
The belief that childbirth is a painful sorrow we must bare as women as a punishment for Eve’s original sin, is a belief that is imparted through tradition. The vestiges of that belief can be found in most images of birthing mothers in film and television.
If at one time it was known that childbirth could be pleasure-filled, women must have felt rather self-possessed and empowered by their life-giving experience. Were women empowered life-givers, would they submit easily to being subjugated and governed by their husbands?
In much of the bible, God rules man and man rules woman. In that paradigm, there is an implication that women do not have as direct a connection with God. Their rule comes second hand, giving men a higher spiritual status. Within the above quotation, why are these three ideas linked together? ‘God will intensify pain in birthing your children. Your desire will be for your husband. He will rule you.’ Is it possible that there is a message here meant to control women with fear? Does this message reveal a fear of desire being felt during the birthing process? Is this perhaps a desire which would make a woman rebel against the rule of her husband?
Perhaps it is a desire felt during childbirth for something more divine and enigmatic than a husband? Perhaps it is a kundalini upwelling of life-force energy surging within the birthing mother as she releases and surrenders to the pure ecstasy of her own body as she inhabits the spiritual territory of Life Giver? Is birth such an empowering experience that a woman may remember that she can rule over herself or that she is connected to a divine feminine force? Perhaps she may even feel that she herself is created in the image of the forgotten face of the Goddess?
Before God was a man, God was a woman. In indigenous cultures over the globe, the image of the goddess giving birth to humanity abounded. What kind of differences in female self-esteem are there between women growing up with the idea of being ruled by their husbands and their single-parent Father God, and those growing up with the idea of answering to a Mother and Father, God-Goddess team?
Not having a divine female role model, has a lot of implications. This relationship to God described in the above quotation, implies a huge inequality in the status between men and women. It automatically puts men in an authoritative role over women, and diminishes the role in creation women play in their own lives. Would this kind of value system put women at risk for physical and emotional abuse suffered at the hands of their spouses?
What unconscious programming is operating in the self-esteem center of the modern birthing woman? Is she able to access her inner Goddess? Is she able to intuitively find the point where pain stops and pleasure starts? More and more women are finding doctors and midwives who understand the need for peaceful low-lit environments where women have control over who is at the birth, how they move and the positions they take during labor. Music, aromatherapy, quiet spaces, and unhurried low-lit environments found in birthing centers, at home births and with mid-wife or doula- attended hospital births, produce more successful, ecstatic and non-medical births. When birth is treated like a medical emergency or a medical procedure, the body tenses up, and natural birth becomes much harder to achieve.
The most effective birthing postures are active. The squatting position opens up two more inches of space in the pelvis of the female anatomy. With a catheter inside a birthing mother cannot walk around, and follow her natural instinct to contort her body. Hanging from a bar, rolling on a chiropractic ball, walking, being on all fours, sitting on the toilet, and sitting in seiza between contractions are all great positions which help the birthing process along, and relieve pressure and tension.
The hormones released during transition, free the mind to connect with the spirit world as the world of the baby
Personally, I can attest to an ecstatic birth being a rewarding experience. As soon as I surrendered my fears, listening to my body, I began trusting that I was being protected by the energy of the earth Mother and guided by my spirit helpers. I rocked back and forth in my birthing chair into my husband’s arms, and suddenly pressure was released. It was like scratching an itch, it felt good. My son was born with his hand first, not an easy birthing posture! He was also one in four babies who is occiput posterior, facing my abdomen, causing back labor which is said to be more difficult.
Something shifted for me when I realized "there [was] no going back". Letting my inhibitions go, I decided to elicit the help of oxytocin. Oxytocin in the "love hormone" occurring naturally in the body, which increases with the distension of the cervix and uterus. I added kissing my husband, making eye contact, and hip circles to my formula, strengthening my uterine contractions and dilating my cervix.
Gradually, the rocking of my pelvis (led by my yoni) turned into an exciting and deeply satisfying sensation. It was a kind of sexy feeling that went deep through me. It was a timeless ecstatic sensation as the kundalini surges moved through every energy center of my body. I gave birth to my son ten hours after contractions started in a $20 child’s pool I got from Target. The water was tepid and there were rainbow stripes around its edges.
With all of the wonderful hormones coursing through my body, I finally fell asleep 36 hours after my child's birth. Getting stitches didn’t faze me one bit, as I belted show tunes and all of my favorite songs at the top of my lungs through the suture done by my midwife’s assistant. I spent all my post-birth time bonding with my baby, watching him sleep, nursing and "making sure he was breathing". In my practice I have met many natural-birthers who have had similar experiences to mine. For those to whom natural childbirth is available, consider reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Meditate on the subject and see what you feel drawn to do.
The most important and empowering element of the journey is that you know your choices and do what feels best for you. Connect to your baby’s spirit. Go with your instinct. Make that telepathic connection with your baby and you will begin connecting on a deeper level with your own soul.
Let go of all the baggage which keeps you from feeling empowered in your life before the birth. I rifled through ten boxes of writing, letters and diaries, before throwing seven of them away. I realized I was holding on to old stories, personal mythologies, and beliefs which were limiting me from reaching my full potential. I didn’t want to pass this legacy on to my child. With my pregnant intuition, I examined old letters in a new way. I had new insights, new forgiveness, new self-love and new acceptance. I felt in harmony with the universe. I walked in nature every day, connecting to my body and the elements, the earth and the sky, in a deeper and more aware way than I had before.
After crying at the ocean during a final emotional release, I asked for assistance from the universe. During prayers and meditations I connected with my guardian angels. I asked for assistance from the divine Mother, from God, from my ancestors. Weeks later during labor's transition, I felt a cold water washcloth on my forehead. Peace enveloped every fiber of my being. A silent message of love and courage overcame me. Opening my eyes I realized I was alone in the room, alone with my angels, in the company of the Goddess.
It's quite empowering to know that we are capable of breaking through fear into a pleasure-filled and joyful experience of birth.
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