The Shocking Truth About Coffee

OH MY GOD! It's the coffee gremlins! Coffee has a chemical with causes the premature evacuation of foods, especially proteins, out of the stomach. This means undigested foods are traveling into the small intestine, fermenting, slowing down the metabolism, causing flatulence, bloating, distention of the abdomen (more common than people realize), where both toxins and toxicants have the potential to be reabsorbed and recirculate in the body before these finally leave the colon. Many men and women cover up odors omitted by the body by using colognes and perfumes which further disrupt the glandular system and therefore, besides causing genetic damage to themselves and their future offspring, could possibly slow their metabolism further.

Drinking alcohol has the same effect on the body as drinking soda pop. Alcohol is very acidifying to the body and can contribute to the malabsorption of nutrients, contributing to osteoporosis and other symptoms of mineral and vitamin depletion. Circulation gets slowly by smoking, fat the body doesn't know what to do with, and extra calcium or fat can coat the arteries, causing poor circulation, which can lead to more lymphatic detoxification, and even heart problems. Many people who think they are healthy have heart attacks and stroke. Circulation is vital to our health, and using digestive herbs and warming circulatory herbs can really help to improve your circulation quite quickly. Circulatory herbs include herbs that tonify the heart, move the blood and regulate blood pressure. The properties of the herbs can be alterative, blood pressure lowering, blood thinning, blood sugar-lowering and diaphoretic. These herbs include cinnamon, angelica, cayenne pepper, Siberian ginseng, hawthorn berries, bilberry, and ginger.

Spring Clean Your Body

People tend to define health by the lack of disease, or by their mobility. Often times people's bad habits seem to catch up with them in the long hall, when it becomes harder to reverse the adverse effects of poor diet, lack of exercise, and poor nutrition. Many people think if they overeat, they must be getting all of the nutrients they need. People who tend to overeat tend to overeat salty, sugary, and processed foods, which actually cause toxicity in the body and which prevent the absorption of nutrients. Cane sugar, which is pretty much added to any processed food, when consumed with other ingredients, is the first thing to be metabolized by the body. It chases to the cells to feed them. The cells become full, and by the time the other parts of the meal arrive, the cells are like 'sorry I'm stuffed'. From that point the nutrient vitamin-and-mineral-rich food parts get carried away by the blood and eventually become excreted without being fully used. This is especially true if the intestines are sluggish already.

I've been saying this for ten years, but I will keep saying it. Many people have the perception that their guts are just pounds of fat layers. That it's all skin somehow. While eating wheat does put fat layers around your vital organs, and stomach, a lot of weight is actually in their un-evacuated intestines. Yards of digesting or stagnating foods are backing up most Americans. The general perception that having a bowel movement once a day is all anyone could ever want, may not be serving everyone's best interest. By drinking plenty of water, limiting caffeine and doing yoga poses, like wind removing pose, and stretches which incorporate twisting at the waist, a person is likely to have at least two bowel movements. The more the body utilizes food, the less waist. Also, fiber is very important in cleansing the body and keeping it regular. It takes at least 10 glasses of water, plus tons of fiber from fresh vegetables and fruits to lower cholesterol and keep the bowels moving properly so that waste and debris can be properly carried out by the cells, gallbladder, bile ducts, liver, kidneys, and ultimately eliminated in the urine and feces.

Over the years I have encountered many constipated clients. There are lots of ways to cleanse the body, including drinking aloe juice, drinking ho shou wu, dandelion root, and in more severe cases, turkey rhubarb, senna leaves with fresh ginger and honey, or reishi and milk thistle. You want to use bitter herbs and herbs which stimulate the flow of bile before using something which causes peristalsis. The smell of the feces reflects your diet. Often dairy can cause too much dampness in the body, and as a result can cause fowl sometimes sweetly pungent eliminations. Coffee can cause the bowls to be loose, and produces more gas in your system, which can contribute to odor as well. Many people cover up their bodily smells with cologne or perfume, which may coat their mucous membranes to a point where they do not even observe the signs their bodies are giving them. Any unpleasant (non-pheromone, onion or garlic) odor coming from the body is a good indication that you need to take care of an issue.

I'm giving a workshop on Spring Cleaning Your Body, for Women's Night at the Dennisport Natural Market, in Cape Cod, on Thursday May 8th at 7pm. There will be free weight loss products and a demo from ReserveAge, a talk on mind-body weight loss and detox by yours truly, and I will be giving mini psychic readings, so sign up today. Contact me at pandora@pandorapeoples.com

On Pheromones and the Evils of Cologne

Or, Taking the Bull By the Horns

A Side Note on Pheromones:

It has been scientifically proven in studies that women on birth control pills can not sense genetic compatibility with sexual partners, because their bodies are hormonally tricked into a state of perpetual pregnancy. When women are pregnant, the ability to smell a genetically compatible mate stops working. Presumably, this is because you no longer need to attract a compatible partner, because you've found one and he has done his job. For this reason, I always recommend single women meet their partners off the pill. On the other hand, you can't rely on pheromones to keep you level-headed either. Hormones are intoxicating and can cloud your judgment. So, don't let those jailbird pen pals of yours send you any cologne-scented postcards or seamen samples, please. Seamen is a powerful anti-depressant, but it can't make up for a lonely Christmas at the Ihop with your boo locked up in Sing Sing. Seaman's profile includes testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins. Female ejaculation has a similar effect and composition, although the very existence of female ejaculatory is still contested by some*. I'm pretty sure lesbians have a lot to say on the matter and can attest to the benefits of female fluids. Is it the true nectar of the Gods?

Confusingly, many lotions, perfumes and colognes have added hormones these days. So, I wonder if there's a bait and switch happening during the first phase of some relationships. Cologne is the Cyrano de Bergerac of olfactory wooing. So, watch out, because you may not be falling in love with your partner, but some horny bull (taurine), dead deer, or other mysterious hormone doner somewhere. The Fragrance Industry is big business. It's a 5.1 billion dollar industry. Forget cupid's bow, they know how to pull the wool over your nose, and might even be able to get you punch drunk in-love. I once fell in love with someone's manufactured scent, and it was a complete disaster. Put that scent on a taxidermied owl, and people will try to fornicate with it. It's easy for your intuition to get a concussion surfing the waves of hormonal intoxication. Your brain doesn't care that the dude or dudette is physically abusive, emotionally abusive, a convicted felon, a rich gambler who buys prostitutes, a lying stripper with five kids from different men, or has a dubious history. Your brain is chemically reacting and you're seeing a knight in shining armor or a princess in distress. Endorphins are flowing. You can't think straight. And you don't want to.

No one from Athena Home Novelties can give me a straight answer about where they get their pheromones from. Athena products boast that all of their products from shaving cream to lip gloss contain "pheromones". Yet, their source for these pheromones remains a mystery. Their attitude is ancient Greek to me. Who cares what muscular, bulging, sweaty animal is putting the spice back in your bedroom? And maybe they are right. Still, I feel like I should know whose hormones I'm rubbing on my cooch with this clit-plumping balm, don't you think? When I asked if it was from an animal, Agent 69 was appalled, "Of course not!" Can you be a vegan and still lather yourself in glandular goodies that could have been collected in concentration-like conditions from trafficked Malaysian workers? I mean, seriously, where does this stuff come from? Is it free trade? Are monks involved? Sweaty guys in a gym? Multi-orgasmic tantric priestesses? Inquiring minds want to know.

And not to get too technical or anything, but isn't Athena the Goddess of war? Wouldn't one of her characteristics be building the muscle of restraint? Wouldn't Aphrodite or Venus be a more appropriate Goddess to name a sex toy company after? Aren't they a little easier, a little more submissive, a little more yielding? Wouldn't Athena be able to withstand the advances of throngs of tan, glistening, half-naked, chainmail-clad warriors, with bulging arms and pecs? After all, isn't it She who commanded the troupes and led the armies to battle? Did she really have time to horse around? Wouldn't she have built up a tolerance to hulking, testosterone-fueled, Adonic beauties? The statue says it all.

* The existence of female ejaculation is even contested, despite proof from scientific studies and reports from women themselves. Unfortunately, much of women's sexual experience has been dismissed, because it is not part of the perfunctory machinations of procreation. It's also harder to study female sexual response in laboratory conditions, because of the nature of women's brain-vagina connection. (Thanks Naomi Wolf.) Female ejaculation has been dismissed by the scientific community for many decades as vaginal lubrication or stress urinary incontinence, probably because it can occur before or during female orgasm. And often doctors who acknowledge its existence presume it's sole function is found in it's anti-microbial properties. Why can't it be part of the a hormonal bonding experience, or a kind of release which fully de-stresses the body and promotes a boosting in the immune system? Why can't pleasure be part of evolution? I think there are some fundamentally sexist and possibly some religious biased beliefs preventing an out-dated predominantly male scientific community, who still has a problem admitting that the g-spot even exists, from accepting something that women themselves have known about their bodies, probably since the dawn of time.