My Kombucha Saved Me From a Holiday Hangover

by Pandora Peoples

Finally getting back into balance with Mother Nature by unplugging myself from holiday hangover addictions to 98.6 percent cacao chocolate, locally-brewed fair-trade organic Costa Rican coffee, and my own home-baked organic cane juice sweetened poppy seed-stuffed hamantashen. Sometimes delicious things are the cause of mood swings, spirals of discontent, neg'ing out from pop-culture overload, going gonzo over pole shifts. As they say on Portlandia, “Cacao to cacao.”

Kombucha tea is the health drink of the ancients. Kombucha imparts the wisdom of symbiotic life on this planet with every bitter sip. Kombucha is the hope for a better today and an amazing tomorrow. Hope has been shoved into a Pandora’s box of patriarchal misconceptions of the Goddess, propagated by misogynist poets of classical Greece and dragged through slogans by lying post-Marxist fascists, but hope is still powerful, undeterred by disinformation campaigns old and new.

Kombucha is an organism composed of beneficial bacteria and yeast containing active enzymes and amino acids. Its fermented tea contains amino acids, aids in the detoxification of the liver, improves digestive function, joint tissue, skin elasticity, increases energy and has been said to prolong life for thousands of years. It is often used by people with Fibromyalgia and in cancer recovery, and reported by them to have tremendous help benefit.

My kombucha jars are producing many thick healthy SCOBYS (symbiotic colonies of bacteria and yeast). They are part pet, part plant. It’s like having fighting fish, those solitary creatures recommended by pet stores for busy, reluctant pet-owners. No air filter, no thermometer, no heater necessary. These kocha kinoko, (‘red tea mushroom’ in Japanese,) are beautiful company and emanate healing vibrations, floating like happy clouds in their gleaming golden glass jars.

Drinking Kombucha gain has renewed my health consciousness, allowing me to drink a cup of una de gato tea when I want a piece of happy instead of eating chocolate. Eating healthier give me patience to brew tea instead of picking up a cup of coffee. These culture addictions are all the same, good mixed with bad. Coffee and chocolate are good brain stimulation but for many they are coupled with nervous energy, aggression, dehydration, poor indigestion and nutrient retention, adrenal and exhaustion. Now I’m juicing, steeping, and bonding with Shiva lingam stones from sacred Indian rivers. When we ingest nutrient-rich, highly vibrating foods, it becomes easy to tap in to REAL LIFE and what really matters in the RIGHT NOW moment on this planet.