Saturday, December 15, 2012

Neurotic Mother-in-Law for the Holidays


An Evening of Monologues for the Holidays was lovely. A particularly tight and energetic performance by Nadia Schuessler and funny, well-crafted monologues by Gregory Hischak, Diane Kyle and Lee Roscoe.

I wrote my monologue today in a flurry between finishing editing Cape Codified with Special Guest Polka Dan's Beetbox Band [airing Christmas day] and buying desserts for the show. I based my monologue on content from a scene in a screenplay my husband and I wrote which is loosely based on my mother-in-law. It's a holiday tale called, "Getting Mom Off Drugs". She's dead now, so I'M definitely gonna hear about it. One of the perks of being a medium, you have plenty of time to smooth things over with the deceased relatives.

After 14 years of talking through the night into daybreak, you'd think two fire signs would burn out, but my husband and I are still so enamored with each other after all these years. Kudos to my charming, debonair, suave, kind-hearted, deep, slightly roguish and raunchy, pheromonally intoxicating, handsome husband. I adore him, his guardian angels, his cooking, his touch, his parenting. AND, he makes me laugh every day all of the time. Blessed Be! Who the hell needs a birthday party with all that?

Psss...Charlotte, you done real good. Despite your steak-knife-wielding dinners, irate screeching, and time spent in the car in the garage with the motor running, you really managed to raise a consistent, loving, positive, forthcoming, emotionally-stable, vulnerable, tender and heartfelt gem. God bless you Mrs. R. Those first 60 months of infancy really paid off...and we completely agree, 5 is a great age to stop counting your child's age in months.

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