Or, Taking the Bull By the Horns
A Side Note on Pheromones:
It has been scientifically proven in studies that women on birth control pills can not sense genetic compatibility with sexual partners, because their bodies are hormonally tricked into a state of perpetual pregnancy. When women are pregnant, the ability to smell a genetically compatible mate stops working. Presumably, this is because you no longer need to attract a compatible partner, because you've found one and he has done his job. For this reason, I always recommend single women meet their partners off the pill. On the other hand, you can't rely on pheromones to keep you level-headed either. Hormones are intoxicating and can cloud your judgment. So, don't let those jailbird pen pals of yours send you any cologne-scented postcards or seamen samples, please. Seamen is a powerful anti-depressant, but it can't make up for a lonely Christmas at the Ihop with your boo locked up in Sing Sing. Seaman's profile includes testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins. Female ejaculation has a similar effect and composition, although the very existence of female ejaculatory is still contested by some*. I'm pretty sure lesbians have a lot to say on the matter and can attest to the benefits of female fluids. Is it the true nectar of the Gods?
Confusingly, many lotions, perfumes and colognes have added hormones these days. So, I wonder if there's a bait and switch happening during the first phase of some relationships. Cologne is the Cyrano de Bergerac of olfactory wooing. So, watch out, because you may not be falling in love with your partner, but some horny bull (taurine), dead deer, or other mysterious hormone doner somewhere. The Fragrance Industry is big business. It's a 5.1 billion dollar industry. Forget cupid's bow, they know how to pull the wool over your nose, and might even be able to get you punch drunk in-love. I once fell in love with someone's manufactured scent, and it was a complete disaster. Put that scent on a taxidermied owl, and people will try to fornicate with it. It's easy for your intuition to get a concussion surfing the waves of hormonal intoxication. Your brain doesn't care that the dude or dudette is physically abusive, emotionally abusive, a convicted felon, a rich gambler who buys prostitutes, a lying stripper with five kids from different men, or has a dubious history. Your brain is chemically reacting and you're seeing a knight in shining armor or a princess in distress. Endorphins are flowing. You can't think straight. And you don't want to.
No one from Athena Home Novelties can give me a straight answer about where they get their pheromones from. Athena products boast that all of their products from shaving cream to lip gloss contain "pheromones". Yet, their source for these pheromones remains a mystery. Their attitude is ancient Greek to me. Who cares what muscular, bulging, sweaty animal is putting the spice back in your bedroom? And maybe they are right. Still, I feel like I should know whose hormones I'm rubbing on my cooch with this clit-plumping balm, don't you think? When I asked if it was from an animal, Agent 69 was appalled, "Of course not!" Can you be a vegan and still lather yourself in glandular goodies that could have been collected in concentration-like conditions from trafficked Malaysian workers? I mean, seriously, where does this stuff come from? Is it free trade? Are monks involved? Sweaty guys in a gym? Multi-orgasmic tantric priestesses? Inquiring minds want to know.
And not to get too technical or anything, but isn't Athena the Goddess of war? Wouldn't one of her characteristics be building the muscle of restraint? Wouldn't Aphrodite or Venus be a more appropriate Goddess to name a sex toy company after? Aren't they a little easier, a little more submissive, a little more yielding? Wouldn't Athena be able to withstand the advances of throngs of tan, glistening, half-naked, chainmail-clad warriors, with bulging arms and pecs? After all, isn't it She who commanded the troupes and led the armies to battle? Did she really have time to horse around? Wouldn't she have built up a tolerance to hulking, testosterone-fueled, Adonic beauties? The statue says it all.
* The existence of female ejaculation is even contested, despite proof from scientific studies and reports from women themselves. Unfortunately, much of women's sexual experience has been dismissed, because it is not part of the perfunctory machinations of procreation. It's also harder to study female sexual response in laboratory conditions, because of the nature of women's brain-vagina connection. (Thanks Naomi Wolf.) Female ejaculation has been dismissed by the scientific community for many decades as vaginal lubrication or stress urinary incontinence, probably because it can occur before or during female orgasm. And often doctors who acknowledge its existence presume it's sole function is found in it's anti-microbial properties. Why can't it be part of the a hormonal bonding experience, or a kind of release which fully de-stresses the body and promotes a boosting in the immune system? Why can't pleasure be part of evolution? I think there are some fundamentally sexist and possibly some religious biased beliefs preventing an out-dated predominantly male scientific community, who still has a problem admitting that the g-spot even exists, from accepting something that women themselves have known about their bodies, probably since the dawn of time.
No comments:
Post a Comment