Saturday, February 14, 2015
Power Struggle Yoga
Will it Be Power Struggle Yoga or Kundalini Yoga Over the Winter Vacation for You?
Most people on Cape Cod seem to be over Valentine's Day, because of how commercial it has become. People rebelling against the manipulative consumerist propaganda of the day warms my heart. Having the attitude of 'I don't need a stupid day to express that I love you when I show you every day' is commendable. Personally, I think it is nice to have a holiday devoted to love and romance. Can we have too many days of celebration? Wiccans have eight holidays including Beltane for lovers when they make love in the fields and jump over bonfires together. 
It's a bit too cold to make love in the snow, but there are always cars...If that's too uncomfortable, there are a lot of painless ways to celebrate in the warmth of your home. Cook a special meal. Sprinkle sesame or culinary hemp seeds onto a seared Ahi steak. These seeds are mood-lifting. To get your aphrodisiacs in, add 1 tbsp. of maca powder or a dropper full of saw palmetto extract to a molé sauce or hot coco. Surround your bathroom with candles and draw a bath for your lover with 10-30 drops of sandalwood or rose oil. Add rose petals around the tub and to your tub. Read or recite a poem written or chosen for lover by the crackling fire in the fireplace with some Pinot Noir. A plush white rug or leopard print throw will get you closer to the fire. Offer a massage, starting with the feet, neck, or hands. Use coconut, olive, or jojoba as a carrier oil. Throw in several drops of an essential oil like ylang ylang or jasmine if you have them laying around. Or, if all of those activities sound too forced or cliché, you can always turn off all the lights and grunt and stalk one another like mating elk in the woods.
There are so many ways to enjoy each other. As a culture we probably hold too many expectations on what it should be and how it should be delivered to us. Often, I have heard women complaining that their husband's don't remember to get them anything for Valentine's Day. Feeling over-looked and under-appreciated sucks, but try miscarrying on Valentine's Day. Now, that's a really awkward and emotionally painful way to start off your Valentine's Day. That said, fretting about being overlooked on V-Day is still legitimate. Feelings don't compare themselves to one another. It's hard to lessen one's pain by putting it in perspective in your own emotional timeline. Often my clients will tell me they had happy childhoods compared to other people they know, why are they so upset and traumatized by x, y, and z. Well, we've only experienced our lives, and our emotional range runs the spectrum of human emotion, despite what events do or don't take place in our lives. An adult who was physically abused to the point of having Dissociative Identity Disorder may have unimaginable emotional reflexes, to a person whose wealthy workaholic family was emotionally distant, but when it comes to feelings they are intense.
So, here’s my advice for the pain of feeling overlooked or neglected by your lover. Boy or girl, buy your partner flowers and tell them what you emotionally need and want in advance. If your partner is satisfying you with reciprocity in the bedroom, initiating and cultivating intimacy by making yourself feel sexy and sharing those feelings with your partner will elicit the response and attention you crave. Wooing is a two-way street. Looking to others to make us feel wanted doesn't always work. Sometimes, when we get the attention we want we aren't able to recognize it at the time, if inside we feel that we do not deserve it. "Waiting to be Wooed" and "Resting Bitch Pose" might appear to be the same avatar or game piece in the Power Struggle Yoga game board of our lives. Be the "Tantric Seducer" and see where it takes you. Treat your self to chocolate, something sexy (men look to male strippers or rock stars if you need help with that one) and some sandalwood or jasmine oil.
Historical Valentine's Day footnote. In the Middle Ages, lovers gave one another keys to their hearts to wear. Sweet! I never really got the key thing as more than a metaphor before, until I learned how to activate my heart center with mantras, and then I kinda got the concept. Seed sounds that open the heart like "yahm" or "maha" coupled with mudras for the heart unblock the heart energy. Beneath every metaphor exists a spiritual text which corresponds to an energetic reality. In other words, if you pay very close attention, you may discover the sensation of your heart being unlocked by your partner, who in fact holds the key! It's quite a remarkable mind-blowing sensation actually. Perhaps, our hearts can even open in that conscious and visceral way to God, to angels, and to the truth.
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