What McYoga and Repulsion Have in Common

Thanks to my twitter feed and Xeni Jardin from BoingBoing, I read about sexual assault allegations facing Bikram Choudhury. Before that moment of truth, I hadn't wanted to face the rumors that my husband's beloved guru had been more than a tough yoga nazi. A sexual predator? Never! Sure, he used humiliation and degradation to gain control, status and power over his minions. But they needed direction, guidance and self-control. Sure, he lured men and women into brushing his hair and giving him both public and private massages for hours on end. But, there's gotta be perks to being a yoga guru, right? Sure, his talent shows invited public displays of incest between twins. But, that was in no way reflective of the permissive or over-sexualized environment. Sure, he was a misogynistic busybody who took it upon himself to publically slut shame and enable a stalker ex-boyfriend of one of his students. But, none of that would have happened if his newly coupled students hadn't been making out during class. Sure, his yoga students were severely dehydrated, stressed, overworked, under-nourished, and collapsing in class. But, maybe that was due to whatever drug was making the girls' noses bleed. It'd be like blaming him for the cold sores students acquired for the first time from the steam room on his personal hygiene. This guy was on to something, he was a guru after all.

Bikram, "aka" Boss, had saved my overweight husband from his potbelly and a life with perpetual back problems, gout and no flexibility. He had brought my husband from being a stinky man with no focus and yellow toenails, to being a goal setter with a six-pack and healthy blue-white nails. My husband was eliminating every morning and drinking two gallons of water a day! He also brought my husband prestige as a beloved yoga teacher, who the ladies threw themselves at in spite of the fact or because he wore girly yoga pants every day to work. Because of Bikram's teacher training, my husband was able to help many students who lacked mobility and had pain. One student who literally crawled into class after an accident, credited my husband with his ability to walk again. Bikram was a godsend. And, to this day the benefits continue. Bikram is credited by hundreds of celebrities for bouncing them back from poor health. He had reversed gangrene in legs that would have been amputated and helped people live past their ETAs at the Pearly Gates. A guy who had been in Special Ops, who propelled down a wall and shattered "every bone in his body" told my husband that it was Bikram's yoga that healed his bones and allowed him to walk again. How could this man who had saved so many people's lives be a sexual predator?

After reading some of the accusations, I am more than inclined to believe the claims.

Reading about the crumbling reputation of the Bikram empire, led me to reading the 1977 court transcript of testimony against director Roman Polanski. As someone who was sexually abused as a child by authority figures whom she feared, I am disappointed in the Hollywood machine for supporting this guy. By his own admission he had sex with a 13-year-old girl. Her dreams of being a model, shouldn't have given him a license to sexually exploit her. In my opinion, and the Law's, a 13 year-old-girl is not capable of sexual consent regardless of her behavior. I was a horny 13, internally lusting after (really nice and mostly appropriate) teachers twice my age, but I had been sexually abused. This girl didn't drug and seduce him whereupon he relented in a powerless moment. He wasn't a physically weak, mentally vulnerable, unintimidating milkman she dragged through the backdoor, before pouncing on him and groping him mercilessly. There is not even the faintest shade of gray here.

This child was drugged, bullied, intimidated, and said "No" over and over again. Why would people support someone who did this to a child? Perhaps because Hollywood is rampant with the sexual exploitation of girls and young women? Young previously exploited women and girls start off playing prostitutes and giving head for opportunities to die in horror films. It seems to be an initiation into the domination and abuse of power by the Boys' Club, if you track the career trajectories of the majority of leading and lesser known actresses. Hard to believe there are so many opportunities to play the ho. Are each of these supporters pardoning their own predatory behavior or are they a victim in denial who has justified the abuse they suffered? Or, are these supporters like me with Bikram before I woke up? 'But, this man is a godsend'. Repulsion and The Tenant are great films. So, what? Talent doesn't justify murder and it shouldn't justify sexual abuse. Rape wounds the psyche, subjugates girls and women, is used in war to traumatize and destroy morale, and has been the primary tool of the patriarchy.

If things are gonna change for the better, we gotta be willing to rock the boat.